I'm the type of girl that listens to one song on repeat usually for a week and that basically determines my outlook on my life for the week. And i dont want to say what song I've been listening to this week, but I'm glad that i am. Because this song makes me feel all sappy, and good about myself, and it makes me want to go back to before, and thats good.

Life is kinda frustrating these days. Its really hard when you try your best to give good advice, but you can just see that you're no help. Its really tough and just frustrating when you cant understand someone you care about and you cant help them no matter how hard you try. It stresses me out its kinda always in the back of my mind; funny sometimes i should listen to my own advice. So yeah, I'm glad that I'm listening to this song this week because it kinda makes me feel way better about things and it kinda makes me feel like i can do better than im doing right now.

I need to stop being wishy washy and pick a side and stick to it. And after three days of listening to this song, i think its finally convinced me to do the smart thing and do what i know is best for me even though it might not be exactly what i want to do.

I still need to take a couple days to myself, because my mind is getting really cluttered and I'm getting all confused with all the conversations with all the different people I've been with and with the different dreams I've had and different encounters ive endured. My mind is just really messy and confused right now, but it helps to listen to one song in a week because it gives me something to go by for the week.

This song just came at the perfect time i guess.

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Everything so fucking weird right now.. i would say summer is good... but i cant decide if I've been having a good time or not.. i think i need to take a week off to myself and just not see anyone and spend it on myself reading and watching movies and napping and attempting to cook food and stuff...... I just need to clear out what I've put my body and mind through this past month and give myself some me time.... that sounds real nice .. i think I'll do that.

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It starts getting really sad when I look back and think about the certain people I used to be so close with,
and see how we've become
strangers
now. I guess everyone just becomes busy with their own lives,
and forget about one another, but
its crazy how people who used to be so invested in each other
can also forget each other so
quickly..

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?

My love for Katy Perfect is undying.
Her songs are so cheesy yet so great.
And she's so pretty but not in the typical way.
And she's just a bombshell.
I LOVE KATY PERRY.

So yea, had to get that out there.
Being graduated.....feels no different. Graduation was really anticlimactic.
Idk I guess it was because it was built up so much, that when the actual event came... it kinda passed me by.
Everything was such a blur, and I didn't really get what was going on, and then grad dinner came and went, grad night was so long but also went by quick .... the days that followed went by fast too, leaving me wondering what is happening to me these days?
I'm not usually like this, so why am I letting myself do this?
And more importantly, why don't I feel bad?

im sorry.
even when i'm with you,
i'm lonely.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkshHySfRD8
today is just one of those sucky kinda days

im slipping alot these days.. i think im starting to understand certain things

It's so weird that we are all now saying goodbyes.. and it never really hit me until last friday.
At the senior salute, sitting with all my best friends since kindergarten, all leaning on each other, listening to Woody and Laura sing to our senior class,
was so sad.
And after when we all rushed out onto the gym floor,
and we were all scrambling to take pictures, hug our friends
in the midst of it I saw Jasmine and i just started tearing up
and i looked away and I saw Clay just standing alone by his guitar case and
and i ran up to hm and hugged him
and burst into tears

but even then it didn't really hit me that we were graduating so soon.
but after today....its crazy how high school went by.
reading what some people wrote in my yearbook for me, makes me
more confident in myself
and really thankful that i got to know these people

And today was Mr. mohneys last day of teaching. ever.
my favorite teacher EVER
i definitely cried several times throughout the day
for different reasons, some were stupid tears
others happy tears
bittersweet tears,
angry tears


but more than anything I think that i'm just so excited what I have coming for me next.
I can choose to complain, wonder why these things happen to me,
but I probably should just let it go
and look forward for the future.

It's funny how much i've learned about my friends and myself in the past two weeks.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thanks.. :)

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Life got a little more fun and a little more exciting...! Thanks for that :)

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