anxiety

I had an anxiety attack...so i deactivated my facebook & formspring. i really just need to get my shit together..
everything was so planned and set, until now.. its all falling apart and i'm not exactly sure what to do anymore...
i need to concentrate on school, i need to move to new york, i need to finish my portfolio, i need to bring up grades, i need to...
the stress is building, and i hate feeling insecure.
There are just some things that i wish i could do, but there are so many things stopping me from doing it.
I hate this feeling, i want to cry.
I'm more motivated this time around.. but it's putting me into a mental state that is driving me crazy. I want to rewind.
I wish i were born a different person?
All of this has set in such a wrong direction..not suited for my life, or is it ?
And it's come at the worst year, the worst week. I feel like my time is slipping away and I just want to go back to being in sixth grade...
AP exams are nearing, and i just can't focus, this constant feeling of anxiety and stress is so frustrating. APUSH is freaking me out..my mind is an empty slate, i'm blanking on everything...
I'm really stressed about making my portfolio...I'm questioning whether i want to go to an art school..but it's not like I could get into any other school.
Family..that's another story..another worry..I wonder what life would have been like if i had been born & raised in korea like the majority of my family? would i be a good little girl? a good student? a good daughter? a good sister?
It's hard to please everyone around and yourself, so I'm choosing to do only one from now on.
Majority rules, right?
I'm fed up with it, i wish i were a perfect person.