I kept imagining things for myself.
How I saw myself, and how things would be.
I continually edited my imaginations down to every detail, every emotion, every word that would be exchanged.
And these imaginations made me happy just for the moment.
But I was losing myself in fantasies, and bringing myself back feels so much better.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Intoxicated Blogging
Hello!
Intoxicated blogging.
My painting teacher told me today, "Believe what your eyes actually see and tell you, not just what your brain is telling you."
Funny how sometimes, when inebriated, you have moments of such clarity.
The paradoxical effect of clarity, no more.
Everything is so clear, and thankful for it.
Intoxicated blogging.
My painting teacher told me today, "Believe what your eyes actually see and tell you, not just what your brain is telling you."
Funny how sometimes, when inebriated, you have moments of such clarity.
The paradoxical effect of clarity, no more.
Everything is so clear, and thankful for it.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Jonathan Bushman's Photographs
I was hanging out at Jonathan's apartment this weekend and I was really impressed by his macro photographs so I wanted to put them on my blog.
He also taught me a few things on his camera, twas very fun.
These are only a few of my favorites... check em out!!!!!
...and look, it's me in the background!
Awesome photos by Jonathan Bushman!
He also taught me a few things on his camera, twas very fun.
These are only a few of my favorites... check em out!!!!!
...and look, it's me in the background!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Today I am Inspired.
Today was the first time that I felt inspired in a really long time.
As I was walking back to my dorm room from the art school,
it was dark and cold and hardly anyone was out,
I was walking down bloom walk and ahead of me I saw a fallen bike on the side of the walkway,
it had no lock and the basket had broken off clearly in its fall,
most importantly it had no lock and no owner.
It looked way out of place, almost as if someone had tried to steal it and failed.
Honestly I had no intention or even thought to do anything with it; I just saw it approaching ahead as I walked back to my room.
But then there was a guy, a stranger,
who came riding on his longboard towards me and the fallen bike.
without hesitation he hopped off his board and let it skate away from him,
as he walked back to the bike and picked it up and propped it against the railing,
and picked up the basket and reattached it.
And I just felt so inspired.
After feeling so tired and so disappointed at so many PEOPLE this past week,
here was this stranger who went out of his way without any hesitation,
and performed a small, but nonetheless noble random act of kindness.
He could have stolen the fallen bike,
or just like me, could have skated right past it
without the slightest thought to prop it away from the walkway.
There was no one there to watch him, see what he was doing, see the good he was doing.
But it was so clear to him that he would pick it up and try to fix it.
The fallen, abandoned bike.
He then started jogging towards his board which was coming towards me due to his previous momentum.
And at that moment we made eye contact,
we saw each other.
I gave him a knowing smile,
and he gave it right back.
And I have to say,
I am so thankful for today.
Thankful for this inspiration that propels me to do good.
So very thankful.
As I was walking back to my dorm room from the art school,
it was dark and cold and hardly anyone was out,
I was walking down bloom walk and ahead of me I saw a fallen bike on the side of the walkway,
it had no lock and the basket had broken off clearly in its fall,
most importantly it had no lock and no owner.
It looked way out of place, almost as if someone had tried to steal it and failed.
Honestly I had no intention or even thought to do anything with it; I just saw it approaching ahead as I walked back to my room.
But then there was a guy, a stranger,
who came riding on his longboard towards me and the fallen bike.
without hesitation he hopped off his board and let it skate away from him,
as he walked back to the bike and picked it up and propped it against the railing,
and picked up the basket and reattached it.
And I just felt so inspired.
After feeling so tired and so disappointed at so many PEOPLE this past week,
here was this stranger who went out of his way without any hesitation,
and performed a small, but nonetheless noble random act of kindness.
He could have stolen the fallen bike,
or just like me, could have skated right past it
without the slightest thought to prop it away from the walkway.
There was no one there to watch him, see what he was doing, see the good he was doing.
But it was so clear to him that he would pick it up and try to fix it.
The fallen, abandoned bike.
He then started jogging towards his board which was coming towards me due to his previous momentum.
And at that moment we made eye contact,
we saw each other.
I gave him a knowing smile,
and he gave it right back.
And I have to say,
I am so thankful for today.
Thankful for this inspiration that propels me to do good.
So very thankful.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
이렇게.
오늘은 왠지 힘들다.
피곤해.
요즘은 피곤하단 생각 밖에 안 들다.
특별하게 한것도 없는데...
생각할 것이 많다.
계속 걸으면서 생각.
하루 종일 생각.
매일 생각.
잠와... 눈이 감긴다.
좋은 밤, 좋은 꿈 꿔 쓰면 좋겟다.
피곤해.
요즘은 피곤하단 생각 밖에 안 들다.
특별하게 한것도 없는데...
생각할 것이 많다.
계속 걸으면서 생각.
하루 종일 생각.
매일 생각.
잠와... 눈이 감긴다.
좋은 밤, 좋은 꿈 꿔 쓰면 좋겟다.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away.
I am exhausted .
Only too many things I want to say,
but not sure how to word correctly,
and really don't want to get it wrong.
Finding difficulty how to express,
keep deleting lines I type,
so know that lots of thought went into this.
I am a very sensitive person,
and I put up a very good front,
but I'm very tired.
Only too many things I want to say,
but not sure how to word correctly,
and really don't want to get it wrong.
Finding difficulty how to express,
keep deleting lines I type,
so know that lots of thought went into this.
I am a very sensitive person,
and I put up a very good front,
but I'm very tired.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
NIETZSCHE
It's the start of a new semester! I've had this particular blog post as a draft for a while now and never really got around to finishing it, but I figured now would be a good time to complete it.
I was on twitter during the break looking at Nietzsche Quotes and I read so many good quotes that I really loved and stood out to me. Just wanted to share.
"Faith: not wanting to know what is true."
I think the mind is always about self preservation. In fact I think all that we do is to protect ourselves from harm's way. I read this quote and it made me really confused and mixed up. Because if this is true, then everything is just so morbid really. That the truth will always disappoint us, and that the things we hold strong faith and confidence in, are actually just our greatest denials.
"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man."
Hope in the moment of all things is maybe one of the greatest things because it helps us continue on, but I think most of the time we use hope as an excuse to keep holding on to things that we should just let go.
"Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings - always darker, emptier and simpler."
Whenever I think about anything it seems so right and so simple, and I feel like words always mess it up. Even now I'm having a hard time describing this quote. Today in painting class we were learning about hues and how pure colors and pigments were, and I feel like with words you can never truly achieve the real pigment of the thought. The closest you'll get is a cheaper imitation pigment of an explanation.
"He who cannot give anything away cannot feel anything either."
You can't feel things through experiences that you theorize; I just don't think it's possible. You can get really close to it, but I don't think it could compare. The difference between sympathizing and empathizing.
"Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself."
I feel like I do this a lot. When it comes down to it, I have conversations with best friends and just friends alike, I say things, talk about myself, but often times it's a front we all create. Obviously there's truth to what I say, but again words get in the way and the forms we describe ourselves in can vastly change the way others view us.
"Words are but symbols for the relations of things to one another and to us; nowhere do they touch upon absolute truth."
I feel like most of these quotes have come back to words. Maybe it's because I find it hard to describe exactly what I'm thinking or feeling. I feel like maybe that's why I enjoy having a blog because even though things may not come out exactly how I want, I can try to explain and express myself continuously and say whatever I want anytime. It's harder when talking to people because I start to worry if other's are understanding what I'm saying. On blog, I don't really have to worry about it cause I blog for myself.
I was on twitter during the break looking at Nietzsche Quotes and I read so many good quotes that I really loved and stood out to me. Just wanted to share.
"Faith: not wanting to know what is true."
I think the mind is always about self preservation. In fact I think all that we do is to protect ourselves from harm's way. I read this quote and it made me really confused and mixed up. Because if this is true, then everything is just so morbid really. That the truth will always disappoint us, and that the things we hold strong faith and confidence in, are actually just our greatest denials.
"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man."
Hope in the moment of all things is maybe one of the greatest things because it helps us continue on, but I think most of the time we use hope as an excuse to keep holding on to things that we should just let go.
"Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings - always darker, emptier and simpler."
Whenever I think about anything it seems so right and so simple, and I feel like words always mess it up. Even now I'm having a hard time describing this quote. Today in painting class we were learning about hues and how pure colors and pigments were, and I feel like with words you can never truly achieve the real pigment of the thought. The closest you'll get is a cheaper imitation pigment of an explanation.
"He who cannot give anything away cannot feel anything either."
You can't feel things through experiences that you theorize; I just don't think it's possible. You can get really close to it, but I don't think it could compare. The difference between sympathizing and empathizing.
"Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself."
I feel like I do this a lot. When it comes down to it, I have conversations with best friends and just friends alike, I say things, talk about myself, but often times it's a front we all create. Obviously there's truth to what I say, but again words get in the way and the forms we describe ourselves in can vastly change the way others view us.
"Words are but symbols for the relations of things to one another and to us; nowhere do they touch upon absolute truth."
I feel like most of these quotes have come back to words. Maybe it's because I find it hard to describe exactly what I'm thinking or feeling. I feel like maybe that's why I enjoy having a blog because even though things may not come out exactly how I want, I can try to explain and express myself continuously and say whatever I want anytime. It's harder when talking to people because I start to worry if other's are understanding what I'm saying. On blog, I don't really have to worry about it cause I blog for myself.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
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